Sometimes it's so easy to be a woman. Well, it's easy to be a woman when you need an excuse for something. It's easy to blame things on hormones, fatigue from raising children, and not being able to find my Dunkin Donuts gift card. The past few weeks I've been feeling sort of down, lackluster and overwhelmed by feelings of worthlessness that were infiltrating every thought. I've been a deep thinker all of my life, pondering the most miniscule of topics to the greatest questions that this life could raise in my mind. Although I'm an eternal optimist and have an innate hope that can never be quenched, I still sometimes experience being what my dad used to call "a positive person with a negative brain".
I've been consciously retraining my mind to create new habits of thinking. I keep reminding myself not to dwell on anything unless I'm currently right smack-dab in the middle of doing it. That means not worrying over what someone said three days (um, weeks, years...) ago, not planning and replanning an event a few months away, and definitely not tackling any mentally-demanding project before bedtime. My zzzzzzzz's and my creative energy just don't seem to mix. Forming new thought patterns is one way that I'm finding much more inner peace. It's simple to blame external factors - being a busy parent, living in a materialistic culture, having a case of the Januarys (even though it's February...) - for not being able to find a higher level of contentment. Disconnecting from the obvious reasons and retraining our minds to let go of negativity helps bring us lasting, substantial contentment.
As I said, being a woman affords me plenty of excuses for why I sometimes feel like a loser or adopt an attitude that would better suit me if I were green, in a trashcan and had a puppeteer up my back (um, no thanks). More than being a woman, being a human being, affords us the greatest excuses for not tapping into the transformative process that God so graciously begins in each of us when we come to Him. Our sinful minds, which some people like to refer to as "ego" in psychological terms, separate us from our heavenly Creator. They keep us bound to these bodies, this world, these ways of thinking and feeling. All it takes is pushing ourselves to grasp the world in a different way, from a different point of view, and we can shift our energy around to receive the Holy Spirit upon us and embody more fully the way we appear in God's eyes. Remember, our physical self is not what ascends to heaven. It's our souls that make that journey home. I firmly believe that God's salvation doesn't only include a ticket to His Paradise but also the tools necessary to become a good traveler - the ability to attain His peace, His happiness, His love and His grace here on earth.
I have so many more thoughts on the topic of accessing your God-inspired peace, and I'll write much more after I've had a chance for God to direct me in what I need to say. It's just amazing how taking the time to create new habits in how I process thoughts, cracks appear in the walls surrounding my earthly mind, letting in the brilliant shine of His glorious heaven. Remember, you are here because He made you. Don't walk this earth thinking (and acting) like you only have a purpose if you choose to. Don't be melancholy because you can't figure out what you're supposed to do or who you're destined to be. God didn't make anyone who wasn't a part of His plan. He created you because you're supposed to be here. You don't need to prove to yourself or to anyone that you deserve to be. Let your thoughts and intentions stem from that truth, and you'll see yourself and your time here on earth in a whole new Light.