Monday, July 30, 2012

My Foul Mouth


"Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report, if there be any virtue and if there be any praise, think on these things."

{Philippians 4:8}


Frazzled doesn't even begin to describe it.  Bedraggled can't cut it. Insane is probably even a little too demure a word to describe the frenzied, harried, on-the-edge, about to throw something across the room (please, don't let it be my coffee!), tired, stressed, anxious, unsure, insecure, completely DONE state that I was living in.

A mother of three beautiful daughters, wife to a super handsome and loving husband, maker of a comfortable and pretty home in suburbia, and friend to many great ladies who make a gal both laugh and feel inspired.  I sure had a lot of problems.

Actually, just one big one.

Myself.

It's always myself!  From the first time that I can ever recall feeling sinful (envious of a friend's cute red and white polka-dot dress at her first birthday party), it's always been about me.  I certainly had a great time at her party (Casey - it was your cute dress at Celebration Station...oh, to be young in Clifton Heights!) but I've never forgotten feeling that negative emotion at such a young age, and one that was entirely dependent upon my own weakness.  I'll always struggle with sin, as we all will, but I'll also always have Jesus to set me upright again and bring me through it.

Jesus.

That's whom I need to lay this post - these thoughts, these feelings - at the feet of.  I had become so exhausted by this fast-paced, full life of being a homeschooling mother to three young children that I'd let myself get into the habit of voicing too much of the negative and not enough of the positive things that were happening around me.  I'm a naturally optimistic person, but what good comes of having hope in Christ if we're only saving it up for sharing with others in the difficult times but complain, nag and berate ourselves in everyday circumstances?

A few months ago, I was blessed and honored and extremely ecstatic to be baptized at our wonderful church.  It was one of the most incredible experiences of my life, and for reasons that are God-filled but not fully explicable or understandable, it ushered in a new phase of deeper understanding and desire for Jesus.  I found myself experiencing a week of tremendous, untouchable peace.  As with all good things, the come and they go, and I allowed myself to return to chaos.  Almost a month ago, however, my husband was baptized at our church, as well, and his bright love for the Lord and enthusiasm just overflowed into everything around him and reminded me that there is absolutely no reason why I cannot continue to abide in the peace that Jesus has promised us while we walk in this crazy, messy, uncomfortable world.

I just had to ask Him for it.  I just had to be transformed.

It's been a a few weeks now, and I've dedicated my tongue to what is helpful, beautiful, positive, joyful.  I now understand that it's not only gossip that God warns us about when he says to mind our words, but it's about building up each other and ourselves.  Keeping our hearts trained on Jesus and receiving His blessing of peace is so much harder (and I believe almost impossible) if we allow our words to focus on negativity.  

"The spirit of the Eternal spoke to me, his word was on my tongue," said King David {2 Samuel  23:2}.  His word is on each of our tongues, flowing from each of our mouths, resonating from each of our hearts.

His Word overcame this world, and our words can continue to bring forth His peace.

3 comments:

  1. Awesome post Kelly. I must say I could have wrote this post, minus the personal side of it. I have been working trying to point out the good and not so much negative. I want to build my children up not tear them down. Especially as we approach a new school year. I know I need to transform my mouth. (by the way I had to interrupt this comment a few times to correct my kids and then correct the words coming out of my mouth. LOL) Anyway, we can do this.

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  2. Thanks, mama! It's hard to know when complaining has overtaken the bulk of our communication, and it had definitely started to sour the moments that Ed, our family and I were spending together in the thick of daily life. I'd brainstorm ways to try and be lighter, more peaceful, more positive but it'd never take - because it all started with my mouth, not my mind. I definitely don't have to share every single little thing that I think (a natural problem that I have...haha!).

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  3. What a great post, I can definitely relate! Thanks for sharing it with us!

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